There is so much ahead! So much for us to look forward to. It will only get better and better. Isn’t that the promise? From glory to glory, from strength to strength. Fullness. Abundance. Glory. “For out of His fullness (abundance) we have received [all had a share & we were all supplied with] one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped] upon gift.” John 1: 16 (AMP)
WOW. I just want to open wide my mouth and receive it all.
As I have been preparing to leave South Africa (this place I love so much it hurts), I have been looking back on my four and half years here. The good, the bad, the ugly, the breakthroughs and the heartaches…it has all been, well, glorious. Not because it was easy or fun, but because as I look back now I can see how He is the Faithful One who journeys with us to take us deeper and deeper and deeper again into his heart, his glory, his Kingdom, his story. These have been some of the absolute hardest years of my life and yet some of the absolute best. Although I have seen things happen I could only have dreamed of, I have also faced so many heavy trials and many dark days…and yet as I look back I can only count them all for joy. Because HE WAS IN THEM. The One who loves me and only desires the best for me. The One who is so close and so good and brings it together in a beautiful masterpiece of his glory. He was there. He is always there. Oh how I miss it so often in the daily.
So that is why, although I have no idea of what my life will look like in a few weeks, I don’t feel afraid. Because HE IS ALREADY THERE. There is so much ahead! As I started a new journal this week, I flipped through the blank pages and felt giddy with excitement. His FULLNESS will be filling these pages. What looks like an empty abyss in front of me is actually a glorious story that is being unfolded. A story that he has dreamed up before creation and is now putting into place. He is already there and is making me ready for all that he has planned. There is nothing to fear and only everything to be excited about. Anything can happen.
ANYTHING. CAN. HAPPEN. After announcing I would be leaving in May, I felt I was standing in front of a mountain that I had no idea how to pass through. The ministry I had been entrusted with was blooming and fruit was abounding, but there was no one insight to take over when I left. This ministry has been my baby and I have laid down my life to see it birthed and grow these four and half years. But I knew that God had spoken it was time to let go. So I just began walking up to this mountain with one sentence on repeat in my mind and prayers: “Anything can happen.” Even when we can’t imagine a solution, anything can happen when we trust the One who made everything out of nothing. Anything can happen. I woke up every morning singing this over and over. And I would repeat it again and again when people would ask me about the future of the ministry. Its not that my faith was so huge…its just I was at the end of my strength, I had nothing left to muster and so my only option was to throw myself on His faithfulness and wait for Him to come through. There was no plan B. Doesn’t faith sometimes feel so foolish?
But then after several months of clinging to this prayer, it happened. He brought a couple to join our team who couldn’t be more perfect to take over my job. As I met with them to hear their story, I saw how during those months of complete unknown and waiting on Him, he was orchestrating it all. He was moving and speaking and preparing. He was there through it all making it all possible. Its just too good!
So I am stepping out into the darkness, the unknown with joy and expectancy because He who is faithful is already there waiting for me. He knows it all. Every detail. And he fills it all with his fullness, his abundance, his glory. So here we go. There is so much ahead!